Bumped

Julia Roberts [The Late Show with David Letterman; 03.17.09]:...

Wed, 18 Mar 2009 02:14:00 -0400

Julia Roberts [The Late Show with David Letterman; 03.17.09]: Ok, ok—I will watch Notting Hill. Fallon: notebook time. A [video]

Paris Hilton [The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson; 03.03.09]:...

Tue, 03 Mar 2009 02:18:52 -0500

Paris Hilton [The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson; 03.03.09]: It’s really all about the belt, when you think about it. Or when you don’t think about it. B+

"‘O’Brien said he’s looking forward to their reunion because Richter owes him..."

Tue, 24 Feb 2009 17:46:00 -0500

“‘O’Brien said he’s looking forward to their reunion because Richter owes him $300.’”

- » “Richter, O’Brien to Reunite on Tonight Show” [AP; 02.24.09]

"‘Following [Letterman] was like Ted Williams departed the field and a fetus ran out in a..."

Thu, 19 Feb 2009 01:09:13 -0500

“‘Following [Letterman] was like Ted Williams departed the field and a fetus ran out in a baseball cap.’”

- » Conan O’Brien [The New York Times; 02.18.09]

Lil Wayne [Late Show with David Letterman, 02.05.09]: Pause!...

Fri, 06 Feb 2009 01:01:00 -0500

Lil Wayne [Late Show with David Letterman, 02.05.09]: Pause! [video] A

Jay Leno: UnlimitedBack in 1992, NBC offered David Letterman his...

Fri, 02 Jan 2009 19:35:00 -0500

Jay Leno: Unlimited

Back in 1992, NBC offered David Letterman his own prime time show in an effort to keep the star after bestowing The Tonight Show upon Jay Leno. It could’ve been The David Letterman Show, weeknights at 10 p.m. 17 years ago. But Letterman didn’t want prime time, he wanted Johnny’s time. He wanted 11:30. So when Dave cracks on Jay’s new TV Guide grid box nowadays, he’s cracking on Jay’s dubious commitment to the tradition of late night television. It’s a joke, but he’s seriously disappointed.

Around the same time NBC big wigs tried to give Dave his own 10 o’clock show in the early ’90s, a network affiliate in Waterloo, Iowa wanted to give Jay his own prime time spot thanks to promising early Tonight Show ratings. But the Iowa bumpkin wasn’t even factoring in Letterman—he just wanted to run Jay’s Tonight Show twice each night to save some cash. And that’s the difference, isn’t it? When NBC attempted to bump Letterman up, they wanted to save money, sure—but they also wanted to keep a genius in the ranks. When the Waterloo station manager suggested putting Jay on during peak hours and at 11:30, he was just being lazy. The Jay Leno Show makes sense if you’re trying to suck cash out of an uncertain medium. Still, it’s a white flag and it’s tremendously disheartening for anyone who still has hope in late night talk shows. That many couches in a row, five nights a week is too much. It’s self-cannibalizing, diluting. It’s a quick fix for a genre that’s all about longevity. Nobody expects Ben Silverman to think ahead. Jay Leno, though? Has he learned nothing?

Leno is a striver. For pretty much every comedian on earth, hosting The Tonight Show would be good enough. Not Jay. He’s a worker who mistakes tenacity for excellence; he’s never the best but, boy, can you see the sweat on his brow. Granted, he’s led in the ratings for 14 years now, but a legacy isn’t defined by a couple tenths lead in the 18-49’s. Letterman’s got the legacy down, especially if he can make it to Johnny’s 30 year mark. Leno’s got little legacy to speak of, so this seems like a desperate move to define something—to be somebody. Ultimately: pitiful. Carson-era Tonight Show producer Peter Lassally once described Leno as a “limited talent.” That assessment still holds true in 2009. Limited act; unlimited space.

[Further reading: “How Leno Won. Again.” The Daily Beast, “Leno Discusses His Prime Time Plans,” The New York Times]

Dustin Hoffman [Late Show with David Letterman, 12.22.08]:...

Wed, 31 Dec 2008 16:52:41 -0500

Dustin Hoffman [Late Show with David Letterman, 12.22.08]: Stories get a bad rap because they’re the default. “Hey, got any stories?” “Got any kids? “Got any stories about kids?” are questions prep people ask famous actors and actresses who don’t know how to tell stories. I’m not sure if that’s a great job (I’m thinking Garofalo on Larry Sanders), but I’d like to try it for a week. Anyway, I’m sure Hoffman was prepped but the guy’s got stories. Real ones. Three segments worth. How long has he waited to tell the yarn about putting some 3 in a Dusty/Duvall sandwich in a shower on 109th 50 years ago? New to me. Did I mention the man is 71?! Incredible. (Letterman’s right about the Hoffman/Duvall/Hackman tell-all, too—publishers make note.) Jose Ferrer/Tootsie is gold, clearly. And he’s so relaxed, as if these are just a few of thousands of Hollywood tales he’s got hidden away, ready to be spontaneously remembered at some time or another. Looking at IMDB, Hoffman’s been on Letterman three times total. An injustice. A [clip/full episode]

Night Fight: Zooey Deschanel [Jimmy Kimmel Live!, 12.11.08]...

Sun, 21 Dec 2008 23:55:32 -0500

Night Fight: Zooey Deschanel [Jimmy Kimmel Live!, 12.11.08] versus [The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, 12.18.08]: The difference between half-asleep and two and a half espressos. Also: No ribbons. [champion]

Kate Winslet [The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, 12.15.08]: Hey...

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 13:37:13 -0500

Kate Winslet [The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, 12.15.08]: Hey Movie Star, I would like to thank you for keeping the camera off Jay. Was just discussing this with some terrible Scene It? player—why no comedies for Kate? She’s got the timing, get-go and accents (Trinidadian in-laws! fussy daughter! delusional son!) to pull it off. Let me repeat: even the kid stories fly. Kate Winslet’s toddlers are so much cooler than me it’s sickening. A- [video]

"‘I didn’t want to go against Conan. It’s not so much Conan; well, it’s Conan and it’s..."

Tue, 16 Dec 2008 04:47:25 -0500

“‘I didn’t want to go against Conan. It’s not so much Conan; well, it’s Conan and it’s everything I’ve worked for. […] I think we will have an advantage saying to press agents, It’s prime time; reach a wider audience.’”

- » Jay Leno [The New York Times, 12.15.08]: Douchebag central.

Jay Leno [Late Night with David Letterman, 08.16.84]

Tue, 16 Dec 2008 04:45:42 -0500

[video]

"‘Christmas is coming a little earlier this year—Santa is moving to the 10 p.m...."

Tue, 16 Dec 2008 03:04:00 -0500

“‘Christmas is coming a little earlier this year—Santa is moving to the 10 p.m. slot.’”

- » David Letterman [Late Show, 12.15.08]: Not getting old.

Bon Iver [Late Show with David Letterman, 12.11.08]: Just...

Sat, 13 Dec 2008 02:34:00 -0500

Bon Iver [Late Show with David Letterman, 12.11.08]: Just realized Mr. Brawny made the record Timberlake thinks he can make with Rick Rubin. Plus, he’s trying AutoTune and multiple dudes hitting drums at the same time? Heartbreak it is, then. A- [video]

Marlon Brando [The Dick Cavett Show, 06.12.73]

Fri, 12 Dec 2008 05:47:17 -0500

[video]

"‘Recently I was at the Teen Choice Awards and not one person there knew me.’"

Fri, 12 Dec 2008 03:44:00 -0500

“‘Recently I was at the Teen Choice Awards and not one person there knew me.’”

- » Brian Austin Green [Jimmy Kimmel Live!, 12.11.08]: Tell ‘em why you mad, Bag.

Zooey Deschanel [Jimmy Kimmel Live!, 12.11.08]: I feel like...

Fri, 12 Dec 2008 01:38:00 -0500

Zooey Deschanel [Jimmy Kimmel Live!, 12.11.08]: I feel like it’s my Tumblr duty to write about this Zooey appearance. I also feel like I may get banned from Tumblr for pointing out it wasn’t great. (I feel a lot.) Is this the Zooey tipping back point? The fuck no sharks moment? I saw The Happening. I don’t want to see Yes Man (though the clip here is a highlight). Is it sexist to note her biggest and best cultural mark this year was made with Him? Hope not. Sure, she’s close to normal. But there’s such a thing as too close to normal, i.e., cute; the end. Is she purposely trying to kill all the Tumblr stalkerism with that prom dress and Hot Topic-combo ribbonwear? If so, kudos. If not, 500 Days of Summer better not suck. C [video]

"‘Welcome to The Late Show. Still at 11:35.’"

Wed, 10 Dec 2008 03:41:00 -0500

“‘Welcome to The Late Show. Still at 11:35.’”

- » David Letterman [Late Show, 12.09.08]: For the win.

Mike Huckabee [The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, 12.09.08]: With...

Wed, 10 Dec 2008 03:40:00 -0500

Mike Huckabee [The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, 12.09.08]: With all the talk of Jay and 10 p.m. and spanking new ideas like JayTalkers and replacing the band with Rock-afire Explosion, I’m thinking about Jon Stewart. Mostly because I tried to watch The Tonight Show yesterday and couldn’t. The Daily Show is still the most consistently funny late night show (granted: lead is dwindling post-election). But if Jon was to take over The Late Show in 2010 (or 2012), he would need to talk to stars. Jon is not good at talking to stars: inside joke, Big Daddy joke, awkwardly laughing at something the star said that’s not funny, out. The best Daily Show interviews are the confrontational ones, where Jon can barely look the guest in the eye as if to say, “I know this is a fun show and maybe you didn’t expect this but I really hate your book/politics/sense of self and I don’t feel like hiding it, sorry.” This Mike Huckabee interview was one of those.

Huckabee is promoting a book all about how people should be nice to each other. And he doesn’t think gay people should have the right to get married. This is a conflict that Huckabee doesn’t acknowledge, but it bothers Jon Stewart. A lot. “At what age did you decide not to be gay?” isn’t an applause line, really. It’s a shake-some-sense line. And I can see why Jon’s pressing here—Huckabee seems like a decent guy who can understand reason. “Seems” being the keyword. It’s sad how Huckabee is totally oblivious to the fact that he’s on the wrong side of history, and I think Jon wanted to plant that seed, basically. If so, he did a good, polite job. The preaching to the choir aspect was (relatively) muted. And, of course, Huckabee’s game. It was just uncomfortable enough. But this can’t be his go-to schitck for 11:30 on a network. Dave claims to be dumb, but it’s only half true; his intelligence lies in experience, and he makes it work. Jon is more of a nerd. Which is great. For Comedy Central. At 11. Elsewhere? Not so great. A-

"‘I enjoy making love, I don’t need to be a gynecologist.’"

Tue, 09 Dec 2008 19:47:00 -0500

“‘I enjoy making love, I don’t need to be a gynecologist.’”

- » Jay Leno [The Hollywood Reporter]: Ew.

This week’s top ten late night guests in order of presumed...

Mon, 08 Dec 2008 04:39:59 -0500

This week’s top ten late night guests in order of presumed excellence:

10. Jennifer Connelly [Late Show with David Letterman, 12.08.08]
09. Tokyo Police Club [Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, 12.10.08]
08. Paula Abdul [Late Show with David Letterman, 12.10.08]
07. Taylor Swift [Last Call with Carson Daly, 12.10.08]
06. T-Pain [The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, 12.08.08]
05. Tom Cruise [The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, 12.11.08]
04. Joel McHale [Late Night with Conan O’Brien, 12.09.08]
03. Will Smith [The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, 12.08.08]
02. Stephen Colbert [Late Night with Conan O’Brien, 12.08.08]
01. Don Rickles [Late Night with Conan O’Brien, 12.12.08]

Don Rickles (ft. Bob Hope, Bing Crosby and John Wayne) [The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson, 10.15.75]